You Want a Break from Your Misery, Cleveland Sports Fans? Try Cleveland State Basketball

OK, the following is probably going to sound massively biased and more like a propaganda piece, but what else do you expect from a guy who got two degrees from there?

It’s been a rough few months for Cleveland sports fans. The Browns have no direction, and, as it turns out, neither do the Cavaliers. Plus, the Indians aren’t doing anything of consequence until at least April, though we are actually looking forward to spring training for the first time in a long time.

So, with all that misery raining down on Cleveland, what’s a fan to do?

Here’s your answer: What about Cleveland State basketball?

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Jimmy Haslam Wrote a Letter? I Can Do That, Too!

Dear Mr. Haslam:

I hope things are well and you’re getting out of that whole mess of an alleged rebate scam Pilot Flying J has been dealing with. I’m sure you can probably appreciate that we’d rather not see your 100-year old dad have to take over in the event you get hit with jail time.

Anyway, I had a specific reason for writing you, or maybe it’s because you wrote a letter to the fans, I felt compelled, as a Cleveland Browns fan, to respond to whatever it was you were trying to say.

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Chris Grant’s New Jedi Mind Trick – Trading for Luol Deng

During his tenure as Cavaliers general manager, Chris Grant has had a knack for performing Obi Wan Kenobi-like Jedi mind tricks on other teams to squeeze from them what he can. It started with the unloading of Mo Williams and Jamario Moon to the Clippers for Baron Davis and what turned out to be a No. 1 draft pick, which they used on Kyrie Irving.

While wheeling and dealing, Grant has tried very hard to put a contender on the court, through a variety of deals that involved players most people didn’t even know were in Cleveland. However, the team still struggles.

But in a weak Eastern Conference, the Cavs, inexplicably, remain in the playoff hunt. So, the Jedi Master felt compelled to pull another trick.

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2013 – The Year That Was (Completely Forgettable for All But Indians Fans)

So, Cleveland, what was your 2013 like? Unless you rooted for only the Indians (and judging by the attendance, you clearly didn’t), your sports year was pretty bad.

You shouldn’t have been surprised when Browns owner Jimmy Haslam and president Joe Banner named Mike Lombardi their general manager. Soon after, they shoved him in a bag and buried him. That’s the perception, really, given all the smack that Lombardi talked in the Browns’ general direction.

If Lombardi is actually in charge of any personnel moves, we can certainly thank him for doing absolutely nothing in the free agent market, leaving more than $20 million in salary cap space, and the 2013 NFL Draft, where he got Barkevious Mingo. He was OK, plus he gets bonus points for having Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe, as a fan. But other than that, the Browns did absolutely nothing, except trading Trent Richardson for a bag of magic beans, otherwise known as the Indianapolis Colts’ first rounder.

Someone needs to corner Lombardi and ask him why he act like he’s an jilted ex-girlfriend. Seriously, Mike. You know we can’t stand you! At least feign an interest in proving us wrong about the fact that you’re completely incompetent as a GM!

I digress. On to the Cavaliers…

Kyrie Irving plays like he doesn’t want to be here. And dependent on the MRI after his injury in the loss against the Pacers, Cavs general manager Chris Grant ¬†could have Jedi mind-tricked a team into taking him and giving up half their team in exchange. But no. Dion Waiters appears to be on the block.

And yet, because the Eastern Conference is a Level 5 Biohazard, the Cavaliers are still in the playoff hunt. Talk about lowered expectations.

It seems like burying the lede (and yes, I am spelling that right), but the Indians were the only feel-good story of the year, even in spite of their sad closer, Chris Perez, who, had he not blown the save on August 5th against the Tigers, the Tribe would be looking not at a one-gamer against the Rays but a five-game AL Divisional Series.

Good-bye, Pure Rage. Good luck beating out Brian Wilson for a spot in the Dodgers bullpen.

All in all, folks, is that 2013 should have finally given us the chance to get all of that hate we had for the Dolans out of our hearts. Give them the benefit of the doubt, finally. You proved that by selling out that Wild Card game. Try to do the same on a game that’s not Opening Day.

The reality is this, Cleveland fans. We have all spent far too long worshiping at the altar of football. And where has that gotten us?

This town needs to get behind baseball again, and not just at Progressive Field. It’s got to come down to the high schools to the local and the local sandlots.

And So Continues the Brown and Orange Fraud

Well, that didn’t take long for all that huffing and puffing from a confident and driven Browns front office to wear off.

After a season where Joe Banner and Mike Lombardi decided scrambling around for a capable quarterback and tracking what little running game they had for a draft pick in a range this team hasn’t really done anything with, who do they blame? It would appear that answer is first-year head coach Rob Chudzinski, according to numerous reports.

So, Banner and Lombardi, who came in acting like their football expertise and superior mental acumen would make a quantum leap in the Browns progress, lay their faults on a first-year head coach who was stuck with a quarterback carousel? Yes, that makes complete sense.

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The NBA Hurts My Soul

The 2013-14 NBA season is upon us, and to nobody’s surprise, the league has drawn all attention to the defending champions, the Miami Heat. Meanwhile, the rest of the NBA languishes in their spotlight.

Nobody should be surprised by this. Throughout commissioner David Stern’s tenure, the idea of parity within the league is a completely laughable concept. A new collective bargaining agreement is supposed to put an end to the so-called superteam concept that started with the Heat and spread to the other big-market teams, with varying results.

Meanwhile, as smaller-market squads, the most prominent being the Indiana Pacers, are knocking on the door. Yet, it continues to seem like there will be no window of opportunity for them or any other team like them, which includes, among others, the Oklahoma City Thunder.

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